Temptations, pause, and an ego battle.

I was a free spirit as a kid. Go with the flow was a lifestyle. I still carry a lot of that, but becoming a business owner has a way of reeling it in.

I shared the story of how I reacted to news of my location being sold. I shared the internal struggle, and highlighted the action I took and chose to spin it into a positive.

Anyone who knows me knows that summer is MY season. At 39 years old I still feel some type of way that adults don't get summer vacation. A heartbreak we all learn when we become adults, one that I've never really gotten over.

I have been dragging my feet. And honestly, probably gaslighting myself a bit… I mean, how else do you move forward when you truly don't want to.

Well. That brings us to the reason for this blog post.

Literally one hour after I posted my first blog, sent you all the email, and formerly announced the location change publicly, I received a text message that made me want to throw my phone across the room.

"Hey Kristen, we have new buyers under contract and they'd like to keep everything as is. Are you available to meet?"

Seriously?

Unfortunately, my ego responded..quickly. "I've already committed elsewhere, thanks."

I thought, how cute. Another test from the universe.

I won't post publicly all the why's that eventually tipped the scales, that's a conversation for when you're in the chair… but I will say that everything added together ultimately led to my trust in this move disappearing.

My brand was built on integrity, communication, and empathy.. long before I even knew how to "build a brand". And that is something I measure each decision against.

That's who I am, and I don't care how many coaches tell me "you aren't your brand."

Yes I am.

In a town where you have literally thousands of options of hairstylists, somehow many of you choose to see me. I love you guys. It doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated that you have a choice, and I'm your choice.

Now, back to my choice. After sitting with what I thought was a test for a couple of weeks.. I wanted to itch my skin off. It felt so wrong.

Then… my current landlord (Craig, who's amazing) came in to check on something and unintentionally planted a seed. He mentioned that I was allowed to make modifications to my space, something I truly had not considered… making my current space work for me.

I never sign anything without fully reading it, so I always knew I had a little window to change my mind, I just never thought I'd need to use it.

Again, all the details are reserved for in the chair conversations. But on the 30th I woke up at 6 am with the song lyrics "should I stay or should I go.." playing in my head. I immediately went from my bed to my desk and re read my lease I just signed, drafted an email pausing my commitment, and made a plan to meet with the purchasers of my current location.

So it's officially unofficial.

We will not be moving. For some, I know you're bummed… it would have been closer for you, so I do apologize for getting your hopes up. But for most of you, I know you will be thrilled.

I'll share at a later time more details of how exactly my intuition was communicating with me, because I do feel like everyone should learn how to communicate with their intuition… but that deserves an entire post on its own.

But what's kind of funny is that this entire blog was written before I even knew with absolute certainty that I'm staying, that's how loud my intuition has been.

And while I have yet to have time to really sit down and understand what the lesson to learn with this whole ordeal was, I will wager a guess of EGO. I'm learning to appreciate my ego. But that thing is sneaky as hell.

What I do know is that I'm staying. And I'm really, really excited about that. I hope you are too.